Why This Chapter of Streaming Looks Different

Streaming used to be the place where everything felt possible.

Before the blog.

Before the podcast.

Before I understood how content ecosystems worked.

It was Juist me, a game, and the courage to hit "go live"

I didn't realize how much that mattered until I stepped away long enough to miss thw why behind it.

Streaming Was the Door That Opened Everything Else

When I really sat with it, one thing became clear: streaming was the door.

It's what helped me find my voice.

It's what helped me find the confidence to show up publicly.

It's what eventually led me into blogging, podcasting, and building something bigger than I ever planned.

So many of the opportunities I have now trace back to those early streams. The messy, and awkward ones. Streaming taught me how to exist in creative space without waiting for permission.

Walking away didn't erase that.

It just gave me perspective.

The Encouragement Came from the People Who Know Me Best

What surprised me most about coming back wasn't the decision itself it was who encouraged it.

My kids

My boyfriend.

They remembered how much I used to enjoy it. How relaxed I was when I streamed just to play, just to talk, just to be present. They weren't thinking about numbers, growth, or platforms.

They were thinking about me.

And hearing that from the people who see me offline who know when I'm forcing something versus when I'm actually enjoying it mattered more than any metric ever could.

TikTok Live Burned Me Out in a Way I Didn't Expect

TikTok Live slowly became exhausting.

It felt like:

• If you weren't live, you were falling behind

• if you skipped a day, you disappeared

• everything was saturated

• everyone was competing for attention

• showing up became forced instead of fun.

I don't want to feel pressured into creating.

I don't want to perform just to stay visible.

And I don't want my joy tied to an app that rewards chaos.

I wasn't tired of creating I was tired of being forced to show up in a space that no longer felt aligned.

Reinstalling OBS Felt Like Starting Over (Because It Was)

Coming back meant reinstalling OBS....and wow

I forgot everything!

Scenes? Gone

Settings? Lost

Shortcuts? What shortcuts?

It was humbling and frustrating and kind of funny. But relearning it reminded me of something important: I've done this before. I can figure it out again with the help of a good friend and no pressure this time around.

There was something grounding about rebuilding instead of rushing.

Why Twitch Felt Right Again

Being back on Twitch feels slower and that's exactly what I need.

It's:

• steady

• intentional

• calm

• not driven by constant urgency

There's no panic if I miss a day.

No pressure to chase trends.

No feeling like I'm behind if I choose rest.

I can just show up, play games I love, and enjoy the moment.

This Time, I'm Not Chasing Numbers

This comeback isn't about growth charts or analytics.

It's about:

• vibes

• fun

• cozy streams

• enjoying the games

• laughing again

• not caring who's watching

If people hang out, that's amazing.

If it's quiet, that's okay too.

Slow and steady feels right.

I said I was done and, in that season, I needed to be.

But stepping away helped me see what mattered, what drained me, and what I actually missed. Streaming was never the problem. The pressure was.

coming back now feels different. Healthier. Lighter.

No chasing.

No forcing.

No proving.

Just showing up, enjoying it again, and letting it be what it's meant to be.

And that's the best part